1
00:00:07,941 --> 00:00:09,210
(groans)

2
00:00:09,211 --> 00:00:11,544
Does he not think
there could be ghosts in here,

3
00:00:11,545 --> 00:00:12,946
or does he just not care?

4
00:00:13,047 --> 00:00:16,617
Clippings not even landing
in basket. Is disgusting.

5
00:00:16,618 --> 00:00:18,451
And that's coming from a man
who just told a story

6
00:00:18,452 --> 00:00:21,021
about ripping out
a Dane's entrails.

7
00:00:21,022 --> 00:00:22,389
This is
a bathroom activity, man.

8
00:00:22,390 --> 00:00:23,956
You don't do this
in the main area.

9
00:00:23,957 --> 00:00:26,067
HETTY:
What? Now, don't cut the pinky one.

10
00:00:26,160 --> 00:00:27,961
That's nature's cocaine spoon.

11
00:00:28,062 --> 00:00:29,112
Hmm.

12
00:00:29,163 --> 00:00:30,897
At least it over now.

13
00:00:30,898 --> 00:00:32,565
Oh.

14
00:00:32,566 --> 00:00:35,369
Oh, and he's going
for the foot. Buckle up.

15
00:00:35,469 --> 00:00:38,406
Sass, there's someone out here
who's looking for you.

16
00:00:38,506 --> 00:00:41,041
Sorry, kid, that smoke break

17
00:00:41,175 --> 00:00:43,377
took a lot longer
than I expected.

18
00:00:43,477 --> 00:00:45,379
Joan. Oh, my God.

19
00:00:45,479 --> 00:00:47,081
Uh... wh-where were you?

20
00:00:47,082 --> 00:00:49,149
- Where-where have you been?
- It's a long story.

21
00:00:49,150 --> 00:00:51,184
I'll tell you all about it,
but in the meantime,

22
00:00:51,185 --> 00:00:53,052
you just gonna
stand there gawking,

23
00:00:53,053 --> 00:00:55,123
or you gonna lay one on me?

24
00:00:55,956 --> 00:00:57,057
Kiss her, you fool!

25
00:00:57,191 --> 00:00:58,426
(Alberta giggles)

26
00:01:02,163 --> 00:01:04,698
Aw, this is just
like in the movies.

27
00:01:04,798 --> 00:01:08,236
Ooh, we got a big boy.
Timber!

28
00:01:08,336 --> 00:01:10,238
Oh. What was that?

29
00:01:10,338 --> 00:01:13,906
Just Jay's toenail
flying through your head.

30
00:01:13,907 --> 00:01:16,810
Oh. That one got some air.

31
00:01:17,645 --> 00:01:19,279
Welcome back, Joan.

32
00:01:19,280 --> 00:01:21,449
? ?

33
00:01:24,185 --> 00:01:26,254
TREVOR:
Well, it's a done deal.

34
00:01:26,354 --> 00:01:28,589
Mayor Tad is now
the majority stakeholder

35
00:01:28,689 --> 00:01:30,791
in Woodstone.

36
00:01:30,792 --> 00:01:32,692
So, are they technically
a throuple now?

37
00:01:32,693 --> 00:01:35,295
I mean,
in the business sense, sure.

38
00:01:35,296 --> 00:01:37,397
What about in the "doing it
together in a waterbed" sense?

39
00:01:37,398 --> 00:01:40,668
Not yet, but once you let
a silver fox into the henhouse,

40
00:01:40,768 --> 00:01:41,818
all bets are off.

41
00:01:41,902 --> 00:01:43,522
So, what are these pictures for?

42
00:01:43,571 --> 00:01:45,439
Oh, just a little press release

43
00:01:45,440 --> 00:01:47,540
announcing my investment
in Woodstone

44
00:01:47,541 --> 00:01:49,977
and how I, Mayor Tad,
swept in and rescued

45
00:01:50,077 --> 00:01:52,112
a local business
from financial ruin.

46
00:01:52,213 --> 00:01:54,947
I was a huge supporter
of local businesses in my day.

47
00:01:54,948 --> 00:01:56,684
That's why I frequented Scores

48
00:01:56,784 --> 00:01:59,453
instead of one of the
big chain strip clubs.

49
00:01:59,553 --> 00:02:01,755
So, uh, Tad, in terms of this

50
00:02:01,855 --> 00:02:04,624
new partnership,
how exactly does it work?

51
00:02:04,625 --> 00:02:06,659
You just get on the waterbed,
put on some CCR,

52
00:02:06,660 --> 00:02:08,528
and don't overthink it.
(clicks tongue)

53
00:02:08,529 --> 00:02:10,797
Yeah, like, I'm planning on
revamping the new spring menu.

54
00:02:10,798 --> 00:02:12,499
Is that something
you want to be looped in on?

55
00:02:12,500 --> 00:02:14,468
Let me stop you right there.
I want you

56
00:02:14,469 --> 00:02:17,003
to keep doing what you're doing.
I believe in you two.

57
00:02:17,004 --> 00:02:20,474
Oh, that's nice.
Stupid but nice.

58
00:02:20,608 --> 00:02:22,810
Plus, I'm far too busy
to weigh in

59
00:02:22,811 --> 00:02:24,744
on day-to-day issues
here at Woodstone.

60
00:02:24,745 --> 00:02:26,480
SAMANTHA:
Oh, I'm sure.

61
00:02:26,481 --> 00:02:28,448
Being a mayor must be
a very big and important job.

62
00:02:28,449 --> 00:02:33,486
Exactly. Well, I'm off to
a ribbon cutting at a dog spa.

63
00:02:33,487 --> 00:02:37,425
Okay, Tad. Uh, we'll hold down
the fort here.

64
00:02:37,426 --> 00:02:40,059
(laughs) Everybody thinks
they can hold down a fort.

65
00:02:40,060 --> 00:02:42,095
Trust me, it's not as easy
as it sounds.

66
00:02:42,096 --> 00:02:44,597
There's flags to raise.
There's cannons to polish.

67
00:02:44,598 --> 00:02:46,333
There's horsemeat to ration.
(laughs)

68
00:02:46,334 --> 00:02:48,668
It's-it's a whole,
it's a whole production.

69
00:02:48,669 --> 00:02:50,003
JOAN:
So,

70
00:02:50,004 --> 00:02:52,004
there I was, on a flight
back to the States.

71
00:02:52,005 --> 00:02:55,075
Suddenly, turbulence threw me
from my seat.

72
00:02:55,175 --> 00:02:56,805
I flew straight out
of the plane.

73
00:02:56,806 --> 00:02:58,745
That's why I always sit
in the center aisle.

74
00:02:58,746 --> 00:03:00,447
Lots of walk-throughs,
but better than

75
00:03:00,448 --> 00:03:02,148
falling out over
the Atlantic. (laughs)

76
00:03:02,149 --> 00:03:04,385
You fell out of an airplane?

77
00:03:04,386 --> 00:03:05,885
Landed smack-dab in the middle

78
00:03:05,886 --> 00:03:08,055
of what I later learned
was Mongolia.

79
00:03:08,188 --> 00:03:12,025
Lot of yaks. Not a lot of direct
flights back to LaGuardia.

80
00:03:12,125 --> 00:03:13,394
So how did you get back?

81
00:03:13,527 --> 00:03:14,762
I hoofed it.

82
00:03:14,763 --> 00:03:16,796
Through the desert,
over mountain ranges.

83
00:03:16,797 --> 00:03:18,732
I thought of giving up
many times,

84
00:03:18,832 --> 00:03:21,469
but one thing kept me going-

85
00:03:21,569 --> 00:03:24,037
the thought of making it
back to you, Sass.

86
00:03:24,137 --> 00:03:26,740
- Aw.
- That is so sweet.

87
00:03:26,840 --> 00:03:28,776
Yeah. Speaking of sweet stories,

88
00:03:28,777 --> 00:03:31,077
do you remember the holiday
rom-com that we discussed

89
00:03:31,078 --> 00:03:34,248
last time you were here?
Polar Opposites?

90
00:03:34,382 --> 00:03:37,050
Yes, of course.
It was set at the north pole,

91
00:03:37,051 --> 00:03:39,419
it had two characters
who were very different,

92
00:03:39,420 --> 00:03:42,089
and one of them
was named Jenny Polar.

93
00:03:42,222 --> 00:03:43,556
(chuckles)
Exactly.

94
00:03:43,557 --> 00:03:45,358
Well, I actually banged out
a first draft

95
00:03:45,359 --> 00:03:46,739
and I printed it out for you,

96
00:03:46,860 --> 00:03:48,329
so if you had a minute,

97
00:03:48,429 --> 00:03:51,332
I would love to get
a real screenwriter's opinion.

98
00:03:51,432 --> 00:03:54,067
Oh, well, can't turn the pages.

99
00:03:54,068 --> 00:03:55,402
Which is why
I laid it out for you

100
00:03:55,403 --> 00:03:56,769
on the floor
of the upstairs den.

101
00:03:56,770 --> 00:03:58,070
This woman is relentless.

102
00:03:58,071 --> 00:04:00,941
- It would be my pleasure.
- Great. (chuckles)

103
00:04:01,074 --> 00:04:03,010
I'll rescue you soon.

104
00:04:03,844 --> 00:04:05,446
Oh, this is a disaster.

105
00:04:05,447 --> 00:04:07,380
Oh, I don't know,
I read an earlier floor draft.

106
00:04:07,381 --> 00:04:10,049
- I think it had some fun stuff.
- I'm talking about Joan.

107
00:04:10,050 --> 00:04:12,084
She doesn't know that
I hooked up with Bela.

108
00:04:12,085 --> 00:04:14,020
Well, in-in your defense,
Joan didn't come back

109
00:04:14,021 --> 00:04:15,422
when she said she was going to.

110
00:04:15,423 --> 00:04:17,773
It's "lost at sea" rules.
Someone disappears,

111
00:04:17,825 --> 00:04:20,295
at-at a certain point,
it's only human to move on.

112
00:04:20,394 --> 00:04:22,596
It's like that movie
we watched, Cast Away.

113
00:04:22,597 --> 00:04:24,063
Tom Hanks was stuck
on the island.

114
00:04:24,064 --> 00:04:25,698
Helen Hunt moved on.
She didn't know.

115
00:04:25,699 --> 00:04:28,100
A-And Tom Hanks cheated on her
with that volleyball.

116
00:04:28,101 --> 00:04:29,737
- What?
- No, he didn't.

117
00:04:29,738 --> 00:04:32,104
Well, they didn't show it,
but something happened.

118
00:04:32,105 --> 00:04:35,075
You don't scream like that
when a "friend" goes away.

119
00:04:35,175 --> 00:04:37,445
I need to tell Joan about Bela.

120
00:04:37,545 --> 00:04:39,447
No. You didn't do
anything wrong.

121
00:04:39,448 --> 00:04:41,047
If you tell her,
it's just gonna hurt her.

122
00:04:41,048 --> 00:04:43,617
That's true.
I guess you're right.

123
00:04:43,717 --> 00:04:48,155
"Wilson! Wilson! I loved
being with you romantically!"

124
00:04:48,288 --> 00:04:49,822
Is the subtext. Right?

125
00:04:49,823 --> 00:04:51,873
I can't believe
you guys didn't get that.

126
00:04:52,893 --> 00:04:55,295
- Hey, Sam.
- Hey, Mark.

127
00:04:55,396 --> 00:04:57,964
So, are they in here?
The ghosts?

128
00:04:57,965 --> 00:04:59,667
Yeah, uh, there's a Viking,

129
00:04:59,767 --> 00:05:02,134
a finance bro, a scout leader,
and a hippie.

130
00:05:02,135 --> 00:05:04,672
And a purple astronaut
named Ronald.

131
00:05:04,772 --> 00:05:06,374
Only you can see him, Flower.

132
00:05:06,474 --> 00:05:08,409
Right, 'cause of the drugs.

133
00:05:08,509 --> 00:05:10,677
I'm not gonna lie.
I'm freaking out, Sam.

134
00:05:10,678 --> 00:05:12,645
I-I wish you'd never
told me about them.

135
00:05:12,646 --> 00:05:14,013
You know, I've been driving home

136
00:05:14,014 --> 00:05:15,648
every time I need
to go to the bathroom?

137
00:05:15,649 --> 00:05:18,017
Oh, you don't need to do that.
They're pretty respectful.

138
00:05:18,018 --> 00:05:20,387
Besides, you probably have
ghosts at your place, too.

139
00:05:20,388 --> 00:05:22,155
- What?
- How that helpful, Sam?

140
00:05:22,156 --> 00:05:24,791
I've been to Mark's place.
There's a lady with no face.

141
00:05:24,792 --> 00:05:27,828
Chimp attack. But maybe
that's a "just for us" story.

142
00:05:27,928 --> 00:05:29,696
- Hey, babe.
- (screams)

143
00:05:29,697 --> 00:05:31,431
We got to turn on
the local news right now.

144
00:05:31,432 --> 00:05:32,833
Okay, what's going on?

145
00:05:32,933 --> 00:05:35,669
The mayor's in hot water,
that's what's going on.

146
00:05:35,670 --> 00:05:37,537
NEWSCASTER (over TV):
Allegations are swirling,

147
00:05:37,538 --> 00:05:40,007
the mayor used
city workers to repair

148
00:05:40,107 --> 00:05:43,210
a broken driveway gate
at his private residence.

149
00:05:43,310 --> 00:05:45,178
They're calling it "Gate-gate."

150
00:05:45,278 --> 00:05:46,947
Huh, that's sort of clever.

151
00:05:47,047 --> 00:05:49,817
I caught up with the mayor
inside City Hall moments ago.

152
00:05:49,818 --> 00:05:52,318
The allegations are false.
I look forward to rigorously

153
00:05:52,319 --> 00:05:54,487
defending myself at the next
City Council meeting.

154
00:05:54,488 --> 00:05:56,689
What about security footage
showing the workers

155
00:05:56,690 --> 00:06:00,693
on your property actually
repairing the gate in question?

156
00:06:00,694 --> 00:06:02,195
I'm gonna go with A.I., Jim.

157
00:06:02,295 --> 00:06:04,197
Is that a toenail?

158
00:06:04,198 --> 00:06:07,233
- It's a ghost thing.
- NEWSCASTER: And what about speculation...

159
00:06:07,234 --> 00:06:09,001
- What?
- ...you used city workers to build

160
00:06:09,002 --> 00:06:11,203
a Playboy-style grotto
on your private property?

161
00:06:11,204 --> 00:06:14,207
What about speculation
you were doing tequila shots

162
00:06:14,208 --> 00:06:16,876
in that grotto with
the Channel Five weather woman

163
00:06:16,877 --> 00:06:18,378
at my Fourth of July party?

164
00:06:18,379 --> 00:06:20,880
(chuckles nervously):
And that is all from City Hall.

165
00:06:20,881 --> 00:06:23,316
Yeah, I thought so, punk.

166
00:06:23,417 --> 00:06:26,219
- Huh. That doesn't seem good.
- Mm, nope.

167
00:06:26,319 --> 00:06:28,989
But these things
usually blow over, right?

168
00:06:29,089 --> 00:06:32,726
Well, that's it.
I'm out as mayor.

169
00:06:32,826 --> 00:06:34,394
Oh, my God. I'm so sorry.

170
00:06:34,395 --> 00:06:37,063
No, no, it's good news
'cause I can roll up my sleeves,

171
00:06:37,064 --> 00:06:38,331
really dig in here.

172
00:06:38,432 --> 00:06:41,902
I'm all Woodstone
all the time now, baby.

173
00:06:42,035 --> 00:06:43,604
That not good.

174
00:06:43,704 --> 00:06:46,272
- Oh-oh, well, great.
- Idea:

175
00:06:46,273 --> 00:06:48,375
replace the pavers
in the front walkway.

176
00:06:48,476 --> 00:06:51,611
Also, change the wallpaper
in the entryway.

177
00:06:51,612 --> 00:06:53,781
Ugh, this is gonna be
most inconvenient.

178
00:06:53,881 --> 00:06:56,784
And have the staff
start dressing less frumpy.

179
00:06:56,917 --> 00:07:00,120
Eh. On the other hand, some
new ideas could be refreshing.

180
00:07:03,664 --> 00:07:07,293
It's not a misuse
of public resources

181
00:07:07,294 --> 00:07:09,161
to have city workers
fixing my gate.

182
00:07:09,162 --> 00:07:11,164
If I don't feel secure
on my property,

183
00:07:11,264 --> 00:07:13,966
I can't sleep. I mayor poorly.

184
00:07:13,967 --> 00:07:17,170
Thor like that. Mayor as verb.

185
00:07:17,270 --> 00:07:19,306
How do you know about verbs?

186
00:07:19,307 --> 00:07:21,307
But that's in the past.
Let's talk about the future.

187
00:07:21,308 --> 00:07:24,244
I've been doing an assessment
of the restaurant

188
00:07:24,344 --> 00:07:25,779
and the B and B.

189
00:07:25,879 --> 00:07:27,380
With regard to occupancy,

190
00:07:27,481 --> 00:07:30,851
it seems like half the rooms
are perpetually blocked off.

191
00:07:30,984 --> 00:07:34,154
- Yes, those are our bedrooms.
- THORFINN: You want guests

192
00:07:34,287 --> 00:07:36,997
rolling through ghosts
in middle of night? (laughs)

193
00:07:37,024 --> 00:07:38,357
Don't think so.

194
00:07:38,358 --> 00:07:39,959
On the website,
I mean, it seems like...

195
00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:41,495
(scoffs)
can't even book 'em.

196
00:07:41,595 --> 00:07:43,363
We prefer to create a scarcity.

197
00:07:43,364 --> 00:07:44,997
That's sort of
a business strategy.

198
00:07:44,998 --> 00:07:47,167
It's like De Beers
with the diamonds.

199
00:07:47,267 --> 00:07:49,336
(Chicago accent):
Da Beers. (laughs)

200
00:07:49,436 --> 00:07:51,505
(normal voice):
SNL. Ditka.

201
00:07:51,639 --> 00:07:53,707
It's a classic. Nailed it.

202
00:07:53,708 --> 00:07:56,142
Okay. Uh... Let me drill down,
get a little more practical.

203
00:07:56,143 --> 00:07:58,712
Jay, you mentioned
the spring menu earlier.

204
00:07:58,846 --> 00:08:02,682
Don't worry, I'm on it. I know
that's below your pay grade.

205
00:08:02,683 --> 00:08:03,983
Perhaps in
a pre-Gate-gate world.

206
00:08:03,984 --> 00:08:05,519
Now I got nothing but time.

207
00:08:05,619 --> 00:08:08,355
Maybe you could prepare
a sampling of the new dishes.

208
00:08:08,455 --> 00:08:09,857
I could critique 'em.

209
00:08:09,957 --> 00:08:12,692
Let's see. What other
action items do I have here?

210
00:08:12,693 --> 00:08:15,729
Jay loving this about as much
as Thor love clutter.

211
00:08:15,863 --> 00:08:17,363
Which not very much.

212
00:08:17,364 --> 00:08:19,933
Thor famously hate clutter.

213
00:08:20,033 --> 00:08:21,423
ISAAC:
Samantha, if I may,

214
00:08:21,424 --> 00:08:23,135
we're dealing
with a political animal.

215
00:08:23,136 --> 00:08:25,204
If you wish
to neutralize Mayor Tad,

216
00:08:25,205 --> 00:08:28,441
might I suggest appealing
to his massive ego.

217
00:08:29,543 --> 00:08:30,611
Tad.
(chuckles)

218
00:08:30,711 --> 00:08:32,579
As much as we love

219
00:08:32,580 --> 00:08:34,881
this feedback,
I can't help but feel like

220
00:08:34,882 --> 00:08:36,717
a great businessman like you

221
00:08:36,718 --> 00:08:38,350
shouldn't be wasting his energy

222
00:08:38,351 --> 00:08:42,289
on occupancy rates
and menu items.

223
00:08:43,724 --> 00:08:45,693
- Go on.
- JAY: Sam's right.

224
00:08:45,793 --> 00:08:48,061
Spring menu? (scoffs)
Small ball, man.

225
00:08:48,195 --> 00:08:50,998
You are a visionary.
You're a world builder.

226
00:08:51,098 --> 00:08:53,166
Oh. Oh, maybe
this-this whole scandal

227
00:08:53,266 --> 00:08:56,102
is actually an opportunity
for you to strike out

228
00:08:56,103 --> 00:08:58,071
in a bold new direction.

229
00:08:58,906 --> 00:09:01,241
You're right.
Improving this small business

230
00:09:01,341 --> 00:09:04,244
at the margins, that's-that's
not worthy of my time.

231
00:09:04,377 --> 00:09:08,781
Exactly. You need to write the
next chapter in the book of Tad.

232
00:09:08,782 --> 00:09:11,919
Yes. I need to look
at the whole board.

233
00:09:12,019 --> 00:09:14,454
This is my time
in the wilderness,

234
00:09:14,554 --> 00:09:17,591
and I shall emerge renewed.

235
00:09:17,592 --> 00:09:19,058
I just have one piece of advice

236
00:09:19,059 --> 00:09:20,359
if you're going
into the wilderness.

237
00:09:20,360 --> 00:09:21,662
Don't hug any bears.

238
00:09:21,762 --> 00:09:24,531
Unless they're, like, so cute,
then you gotta.

239
00:09:25,298 --> 00:09:27,434
- (sighs)
- Wow. (chuckles)

240
00:09:27,534 --> 00:09:29,468
That was amazing.

241
00:09:29,469 --> 00:09:31,839
- It really was.
- (sighs)

242
00:09:33,707 --> 00:09:35,843
It really was.

243
00:09:37,444 --> 00:09:38,779
(sighs)

244
00:09:41,314 --> 00:09:44,151
- Joan, I heard you were back.
- So nice to see you.

245
00:09:44,284 --> 00:09:45,786
Yeah, yeah. Listen up.

246
00:09:45,886 --> 00:09:47,119
- Oh.
- While I was gone,

247
00:09:47,120 --> 00:09:49,790
who was Sasappis
making whoopee with?

248
00:09:49,890 --> 00:09:52,959
- (laughs) I'm sorry, what?
- You heard me.

249
00:09:52,960 --> 00:09:55,327
Something stinks to high heaven.

250
00:09:55,328 --> 00:09:57,138
Sass and I just had
a roll in the hay,

251
00:09:57,230 --> 00:10:00,800
and let's just say it was
much different than before.

252
00:10:00,801 --> 00:10:01,969
How so?

253
00:10:02,069 --> 00:10:04,371
It was good. Real good.

254
00:10:04,471 --> 00:10:06,039
Suspiciously good.

255
00:10:06,040 --> 00:10:07,740
Almost like
he went to school for it.

256
00:10:07,741 --> 00:10:10,944
Question is, who was
his teacher? Was it you?

257
00:10:11,044 --> 00:10:12,780
- Heavens, no.
- Or you?

258
00:10:12,880 --> 00:10:15,649
I mean, it's possible,
but I really don't think so.

259
00:10:15,749 --> 00:10:18,752
Joan, on my honor,
I can assure you that,

260
00:10:18,852 --> 00:10:23,690
while you were gone,
Sasappis did not hook up with...

261
00:10:23,691 --> 00:10:26,093
- any ghost.
- Hmm.

262
00:10:26,193 --> 00:10:29,229
The way you said "any ghost"
makes it sound like

263
00:10:29,329 --> 00:10:31,799
he hooked up with someone
who isn't a ghost.

264
00:10:31,899 --> 00:10:33,459
Well, how would that even work?

265
00:10:33,500 --> 00:10:36,970
Couldn't he, like, hook up
with someone in their dream?

266
00:10:37,070 --> 00:10:38,504
Good point, Flower.

267
00:10:38,505 --> 00:10:41,173
Oh, wait, shoot,
that's what actually happened.

268
00:10:41,174 --> 00:10:42,876
Oh, shoot.

269
00:10:43,010 --> 00:10:45,045
This is the lady
he's hiding that from.

270
00:10:45,178 --> 00:10:46,546
Who was it?

271
00:10:48,782 --> 00:10:51,017
Don't say Bela.

272
00:10:51,018 --> 00:10:52,820
(gasps)

273
00:10:53,620 --> 00:10:56,750
So, do the ghosts mention stuff
they see when you're not here?

274
00:10:56,751 --> 00:10:58,524
He now realizing
how much lunch meat

275
00:10:58,525 --> 00:11:00,127
we see him take over the years.

276
00:11:00,227 --> 00:11:01,728
Occasionally.

277
00:11:01,729 --> 00:11:05,332
They call you
the Mortadella Monster.

278
00:11:06,633 --> 00:11:08,567
I'll, uh, Venmo you some money.

279
00:11:08,568 --> 00:11:09,870
(whispers):
Thank you.

280
00:11:09,970 --> 00:11:11,571
TAD:
I got it.

281
00:11:11,705 --> 00:11:15,342
I know how I'm gonna spend
my next five years.

282
00:11:15,442 --> 00:11:17,310
Oh, that's great, Tad.

283
00:11:17,311 --> 00:11:19,478
And I owe it all to you two,
with your advice

284
00:11:19,479 --> 00:11:20,547
to think bigger.

285
00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:23,049
Aw... (laughs)
So what's your plan?

286
00:11:23,050 --> 00:11:24,717
Well, before I bought Woodstone,
as you know,

287
00:11:24,718 --> 00:11:27,219
I did extensive research
into your business.

288
00:11:27,220 --> 00:11:29,556
One of the items I came across

289
00:11:29,656 --> 00:11:32,259
was an early review
of your restaurant Mahesh

290
00:11:32,392 --> 00:11:34,127
from the Hudson Valley Gazette.

291
00:11:34,128 --> 00:11:36,028
- You know the one
I'm talking about? - TREVOR: That's the guy that

292
00:11:36,029 --> 00:11:38,330
I bribed to do a good review,
but then Jay found out,

293
00:11:38,331 --> 00:11:40,432
and then he gave Jay
a genuinely good review.

294
00:11:40,433 --> 00:11:42,769
- Yeah, I remember.
- TAD: In the review, the writer

295
00:11:42,770 --> 00:11:45,973
sung your praises,
but then, at the end,

296
00:11:46,073 --> 00:11:49,242
almost as an aside,
he mentioned that

297
00:11:49,342 --> 00:11:51,945
what the Hudson Valley
could really use

298
00:11:52,045 --> 00:11:55,215
was an "upscale breastaurant."

299
00:11:55,315 --> 00:11:57,449
Oh, my God,
is this really happening?

300
00:11:57,450 --> 00:12:00,120
Hooters meets fine dining,
if you will.

301
00:12:00,220 --> 00:12:02,588
An elevated ogling experience.

302
00:12:02,589 --> 00:12:03,956
Well, I think it's a winner.

303
00:12:03,957 --> 00:12:05,926
- Do you?
- And I wish you luck.

304
00:12:06,059 --> 00:12:09,096
Don't wish me luck.
Wish us luck.

305
00:12:09,196 --> 00:12:10,263
Where is this going?

306
00:12:10,264 --> 00:12:11,931
- How do you mean, Tad?
- TAD: Well,

307
00:12:11,932 --> 00:12:13,833
if I'm gonna own
the nation's first chain

308
00:12:13,834 --> 00:12:15,267
of upscale breastaurants,

309
00:12:15,268 --> 00:12:16,837
I'm gonna need a test case.

310
00:12:16,937 --> 00:12:18,638
Starting today,

311
00:12:18,738 --> 00:12:22,309
Mahesh is now the very first

312
00:12:22,442 --> 00:12:25,412
Mountains of the Valley.

313
00:12:26,246 --> 00:12:27,848
Yes!

314
00:12:30,603 --> 00:12:34,153
So, tell me a little
about your previous

315
00:12:34,154 --> 00:12:35,354
restaurant experience.

316
00:12:35,455 --> 00:12:37,457
Well, let's see, um...

317
00:12:37,590 --> 00:12:40,127
Italian, Greek, American.
(laughs)

318
00:12:40,128 --> 00:12:42,328
Oh, I've eaten
in all sorts of restaurants.

319
00:12:42,329 --> 00:12:43,629
- (laughs)
- PETE: This young lady

320
00:12:43,630 --> 00:12:45,464
doesn't seem
particularly qualified.

321
00:12:45,465 --> 00:12:47,467
Yeah, but the intangibles.

322
00:12:47,468 --> 00:12:48,935
Is that what we're calling them?

323
00:12:48,936 --> 00:12:50,016
I feel good about this.

324
00:12:50,137 --> 00:12:51,238
(laughing):
Yay.

325
00:12:51,338 --> 00:12:52,772
THORFINN:
Oh.

326
00:12:52,873 --> 00:12:55,075
Mountains of the Valley.

327
00:12:55,175 --> 00:12:56,977
Very clever.

328
00:12:56,978 --> 00:12:58,577
I can't believe
this is happening.

329
00:12:58,578 --> 00:13:01,314
This is my life's work.
Can he even do this?

330
00:13:01,315 --> 00:13:03,782
Well, you sold him a majority
stake in the business.

331
00:13:03,783 --> 00:13:04,984
You should have thought
about this

332
00:13:04,985 --> 00:13:06,652
before you got yourself involved

333
00:13:06,653 --> 00:13:09,656
in ghost-related
tax evasion problems.

334
00:13:09,756 --> 00:13:12,926
He owns 55% of Woodstone, Jay.
I don't think we can stop him.

335
00:13:13,026 --> 00:13:14,561
What a nightmare.

336
00:13:14,661 --> 00:13:17,696
Maybe Jay not understand
very clever name of restaurant

337
00:13:17,697 --> 00:13:19,032
because seems impossible

338
00:13:19,132 --> 00:13:21,534
to have this type of reaction
once you get.

339
00:13:21,634 --> 00:13:24,371
Oh, I got tough news, team.

340
00:13:24,504 --> 00:13:27,875
Uh, just got an email from
my lawyer. Apparently, the name

341
00:13:28,008 --> 00:13:31,979
Mountains of the Valley was
already trademarked by someone.

342
00:13:32,079 --> 00:13:33,546
Oh, wait. That's me.

343
00:13:33,680 --> 00:13:35,214
I forgot about that.

344
00:13:35,215 --> 00:13:36,883
When I heard that reviewer
pitch that name last year,

345
00:13:36,884 --> 00:13:37,934
I jumped on that.

346
00:13:37,985 --> 00:13:39,352
Why? You're dead.

347
00:13:39,452 --> 00:13:41,855
And yet here I am,
sitting on a gold mine, Pete.

348
00:13:41,955 --> 00:13:44,925
That name is everything. It's
the concept, it's the vision.

349
00:13:45,025 --> 00:13:47,794
You can make the peaks
of the "M" look like two boobs.

350
00:13:47,895 --> 00:13:51,231
Then the middle of the "M,"
it's a natural valley.

351
00:13:51,331 --> 00:13:55,402
Two Ls in "Valley" could be
bra straps. Please convey.

352
00:13:55,403 --> 00:13:57,403
So, are you saying that
you're not gonna move forward

353
00:13:57,404 --> 00:13:59,571
with changing Mahesh
into a Mountains of the Valley

354
00:13:59,572 --> 00:14:02,582
pilot restaurant if you can't
somehow buy that trademark?

355
00:14:02,709 --> 00:14:03,810
TAD:
Yes.

356
00:14:03,911 --> 00:14:05,481
(sighs)
I got to call my lawyer.

357
00:14:05,482 --> 00:14:10,382
- Jay, this is great.
- Well, let's not celebrate yet.

358
00:14:10,383 --> 00:14:12,384
I mean, he still might
just buy the trademark.

359
00:14:12,385 --> 00:14:16,223
No, he can't because Trevor
is the one who owns it.

360
00:14:16,356 --> 00:14:18,525
JAY:
No way. No Pants.

361
00:14:18,625 --> 00:14:20,559
Moving up the ghost rankings.

362
00:14:20,560 --> 00:14:22,594
- Oh, man, this is a tough one.
- SAMANTHA: What?

363
00:14:22,595 --> 00:14:25,732
- Why-why-why is it a tough one?
- What's going on?

364
00:14:25,733 --> 00:14:27,399
Well, obviously,
I love this concept.

365
00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:29,235
And let us not forget
that the whole

366
00:14:29,236 --> 00:14:31,905
Mountains of the Valley thing
is my baby.

367
00:14:32,039 --> 00:14:33,606
And to marry that concept

368
00:14:33,740 --> 00:14:37,444
with that name on the very
property to which I'm bound...

369
00:14:37,577 --> 00:14:40,446
Trevor is considering
selling to Tad.

370
00:14:40,447 --> 00:14:41,747
What?

371
00:14:41,748 --> 00:14:43,951
This is bigger than all of us.

372
00:14:44,084 --> 00:14:45,418
One day Jay will be gone,

373
00:14:45,552 --> 00:14:47,420
and with him, Mahesh, but

374
00:14:47,554 --> 00:14:50,622
a chain of restaurants called
Mountains of the Valley,

375
00:14:50,623 --> 00:14:52,459
that's forever.

376
00:14:52,592 --> 00:14:53,994
No. Trevor, you can't.

377
00:14:54,094 --> 00:14:55,428
Seriously?

378
00:14:55,528 --> 00:14:57,764
Sam, I'm sorry.

379
00:14:58,598 --> 00:15:00,600
I got a lot to think about.

380
00:15:00,700 --> 00:15:03,636
You're back in last place,
No Pants.

381
00:15:03,736 --> 00:15:05,772
- He's gone.
- (sighs)

382
00:15:06,506 --> 00:15:08,274
There he is.

383
00:15:08,275 --> 00:15:10,944
Just the handsome fellow
I've been looking for.

384
00:15:11,044 --> 00:15:14,647
I'd say we should close
the door, but, uh, I can't.

385
00:15:14,648 --> 00:15:17,249
You know, it occurred to me
that, ever since I've been back,

386
00:15:17,250 --> 00:15:20,087
I've been flapping my gums
about what I've been up to.

387
00:15:20,187 --> 00:15:21,821
Oh, the plane, the fall,

388
00:15:21,921 --> 00:15:24,624
the harrowing reading
of Samantha's second act.

389
00:15:24,724 --> 00:15:27,961
But I haven't even asked you
what you've been up to.

390
00:15:28,061 --> 00:15:31,298
So... what have you been up to?

391
00:15:31,431 --> 00:15:33,799
Uh, hmm.

392
00:15:33,800 --> 00:15:35,535
Not a whole lot to report. Yeah.

393
00:15:35,635 --> 00:15:38,045
Lot of, uh, branch-watching,
pizza-smelling.

394
00:15:38,138 --> 00:15:39,806
- Really? That's it?
- Mm.

395
00:15:39,906 --> 00:15:41,308
Mm-hmm. Yeah.

396
00:15:41,408 --> 00:15:42,788
You haven't been hooking up

397
00:15:42,875 --> 00:15:46,246
with Jay's living sister
in her dreams?

398
00:15:46,247 --> 00:15:48,147
- You know about that?
- Of course I know.

399
00:15:48,148 --> 00:15:49,848
Flower cracked,
Hetty corroborated,

400
00:15:49,849 --> 00:15:51,899
and now you're more cooked
than yak meat

401
00:15:51,951 --> 00:15:53,186
in a Mongolian stew.

402
00:15:53,320 --> 00:15:54,654
I don't know what to say.

403
00:15:54,655 --> 00:15:56,155
I thought you were coming back
November 28th,

404
00:15:56,156 --> 00:15:57,756
but then you didn't,
and as the weeks passed,

405
00:15:57,757 --> 00:15:59,758
I got convinced
you were never coming back.

406
00:15:59,759 --> 00:16:02,028
That maybe you met
someone else or that...

407
00:16:02,029 --> 00:16:05,598
maybe you never
cared about me at all.

408
00:16:06,933 --> 00:16:08,201
(sighs)

409
00:16:08,935 --> 00:16:11,438
You were in a tough spot.
Truth is,

410
00:16:11,439 --> 00:16:13,639
I don't even care that
you canoodled with a Living.

411
00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:16,342
In fact, I don't know if dreams
technically even count.

412
00:16:16,343 --> 00:16:18,845
I just don't like
that you lied to me.

413
00:16:18,945 --> 00:16:20,815
I know. I should have
said something,

414
00:16:20,913 --> 00:16:23,783
but I was just too scared
that I was gonna lose you.

415
00:16:24,484 --> 00:16:28,220
Lose me? You numbskull,
I crossed the globe for you.

416
00:16:28,221 --> 00:16:30,271
You're not getting rid
of me that easily.

417
00:16:30,357 --> 00:16:31,691
(chuckles)

418
00:16:34,961 --> 00:16:38,565
(sighs) Remind me to thank
that Bela when I get a chance.

419
00:16:38,665 --> 00:16:41,201
She turned my baby deer
into a buck.

420
00:16:41,202 --> 00:16:42,968
Okay, I don't know
about baby deer.

421
00:16:42,969 --> 00:16:45,619
Oh, that wasn't an opinion,
it was an objective fact.

422
00:16:45,638 --> 00:16:48,208
You were bad.
I mean, really bad.

423
00:16:48,209 --> 00:16:49,708
Okay, maybe let's just
go back to kissing.

424
00:16:49,709 --> 00:16:52,212
- It was like Hindenburg level.
- Okay.

425
00:16:52,345 --> 00:16:55,548
So, you figure out whether
you going to sell trademark

426
00:16:55,682 --> 00:16:58,251
- to Tad or not?
- TREVOR: It's a tough call.

427
00:16:58,252 --> 00:17:00,886
My first instinct was to tell
the mayor to take a hike.

428
00:17:00,887 --> 00:17:04,390
Sam and Jay are my friends, and
I don't want to screw them over.

429
00:17:04,391 --> 00:17:06,592
But the more I thought about it,

430
00:17:06,593 --> 00:17:08,583
would it really be
screwing them over?

431
00:17:08,595 --> 00:17:10,930
Or would it be

432
00:17:11,030 --> 00:17:13,599
saving them from themselves?

433
00:17:13,600 --> 00:17:15,934
Feels like you want it
to be second thing

434
00:17:15,935 --> 00:17:18,438
so that you get
to see mountains,

435
00:17:18,571 --> 00:17:21,441
which are boobs.
Many people not get that.

436
00:17:21,541 --> 00:17:23,943
I'm serious. How many times
do we got to watch

437
00:17:24,077 --> 00:17:27,947
Sam and Jay make every wrong
business decision in the book?

438
00:17:28,081 --> 00:17:31,784
(sighs)
They are true idiots, but we love.

439
00:17:31,884 --> 00:17:33,453
I'm tired of seeing them broke.

440
00:17:33,454 --> 00:17:35,954
And, yes, they will be upset
about Mahesh for a little bit,

441
00:17:35,955 --> 00:17:38,424
but when they're on their yacht
with Tobey Maguire

442
00:17:38,425 --> 00:17:40,827
and Fred Durst,
they're gonna be thanking me.

443
00:17:40,927 --> 00:17:43,530
Yacht is... boat?

444
00:17:43,630 --> 00:17:45,297
Yacht is boat.

445
00:17:45,298 --> 00:17:46,566
- Thor like.
- Yeah.

446
00:17:46,567 --> 00:17:48,267
It's like, it's like
they're Rod Tidwell

447
00:17:48,268 --> 00:17:51,304
and I'm Jerry Maguire,
and I am sitting here screaming,

448
00:17:51,404 --> 00:17:53,973
"Help me help you."

449
00:17:54,107 --> 00:17:58,211
Mountains of the Valley is
a billion-dollar business idea.

450
00:17:58,311 --> 00:18:01,480
What could be
more important than that?

451
00:18:01,481 --> 00:18:03,815
Hey, Dad, um,
just trying to catch you.

452
00:18:03,816 --> 00:18:08,155
I have some news.
Um, there's a situation

453
00:18:08,288 --> 00:18:09,338
with the restaurant.

454
00:18:09,356 --> 00:18:12,325
Um... it's not great.

455
00:18:12,425 --> 00:18:14,627
Just call me back.

456
00:18:16,729 --> 00:18:19,999
How am I gonna tell him
about this?

457
00:18:20,767 --> 00:18:22,835
Oh, damn it.

458
00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:27,506
Show me the money!

459
00:18:27,507 --> 00:18:29,342
Why?

460
00:18:29,476 --> 00:18:32,478
From movie. Is quote.

461
00:18:32,479 --> 00:18:34,747
TREVOR:
Well, I have some news.

462
00:18:34,847 --> 00:18:36,149
We need to talk.

463
00:18:36,249 --> 00:18:38,016
Trevor just came in.

464
00:18:38,017 --> 00:18:39,851
Oh, yeah?
Well, what does he look like?

465
00:18:39,852 --> 00:18:42,188
Does he look like somebody
who just screwed us over?

466
00:18:42,189 --> 00:18:44,624
Well, he kind of always
looks like that.

467
00:18:44,625 --> 00:18:46,658
I think that that's just
sort of his face.

468
00:18:46,659 --> 00:18:48,495
Can I just talk, please?

469
00:18:48,595 --> 00:18:49,975
Look, I want it on the record

470
00:18:49,976 --> 00:18:52,097
that Mountains of the Valley
is a great idea,

471
00:18:52,098 --> 00:18:55,667
one that would make
a lot of people happy.

472
00:18:55,668 --> 00:18:59,105
I also realize
that Mahesh is an idea

473
00:18:59,206 --> 00:19:00,840
that makes you guys happy.

474
00:19:00,940 --> 00:19:04,611
And I want you guys to be happy

475
00:19:04,711 --> 00:19:06,179
because I care about you.

476
00:19:06,279 --> 00:19:08,215
- So...
- TAD: The son of a bitch

477
00:19:08,315 --> 00:19:11,017
won't sell me the trademark.

478
00:19:11,150 --> 00:19:12,852
- Really?
- TREVOR: Really.

479
00:19:12,952 --> 00:19:15,722
But please,
still hire that waitress.

480
00:19:15,822 --> 00:19:18,690
So that's it? You're
not going forward with it?

481
00:19:18,691 --> 00:19:22,060
I mean, it is a great concept,
but when you boil it down,

482
00:19:22,061 --> 00:19:25,465
that name is just magical.
Without it, it's just...

483
00:19:25,565 --> 00:19:26,898
Boobs and steaks.

484
00:19:26,899 --> 00:19:28,435
Exactly.

485
00:19:29,736 --> 00:19:32,038
Wait a second.

486
00:19:33,840 --> 00:19:35,575
John, it's Tad.

487
00:19:35,708 --> 00:19:39,679
Do a trademark check
on Boobs and Steaks.

488
00:19:39,779 --> 00:19:41,514
You.

489
00:19:42,482 --> 00:19:43,716
Genius.

490
00:19:44,484 --> 00:19:48,221
Okay, that's on you.
But I like it.

491
00:19:54,261 --> 00:19:56,663
Is this really necessary?

492
00:19:56,763 --> 00:19:58,598
I think so, yes.

493
00:20:03,436 --> 00:20:06,339
Excuse me, do you have
any hydrangeas?

494
00:20:06,439 --> 00:20:07,640
I don't know.

495
00:20:07,740 --> 00:20:09,742
I'll have to go
check in the back.

496
00:20:09,842 --> 00:20:12,432
- Are you flirting with her?
- I'm just in character.

497
00:20:12,479 --> 00:20:14,046
It's a dream thing.

498
00:20:14,146 --> 00:20:15,915
- Just give me a second.
- What?

499
00:20:16,048 --> 00:20:17,284
Who are you talking to?

500
00:20:17,417 --> 00:20:19,585
Well, my girlfriend Joan
just came back,

501
00:20:19,586 --> 00:20:21,988
and there's something
she wants to say to you.

502
00:20:21,989 --> 00:20:23,088
Uh-oh.

503
00:20:23,089 --> 00:20:27,426
Thank you for teaching me sex.

504
00:20:27,427 --> 00:20:29,161
Oh. Uh...

505
00:20:29,262 --> 00:20:32,431
Well... (chuckles)
Tell her it was my pleasure.

506
00:20:32,432 --> 00:20:33,733
Later on.

507
00:20:33,833 --> 00:20:36,269
The first two times were tough.

508
00:20:37,637 --> 00:20:39,439
- She says you're welcome.
- Oh.

509
00:20:39,440 --> 00:20:40,706
Captioning sponsored by
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510
00:20:40,707 --> 00:20:41,908
and TOYOTA.

511
00:20:46,178 --> 00:20:50,483
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512
00:20:50,533 --> 00:20:55,083
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